For many in AA I will have reached a signifcant milestone in my recovery today, so although I wasn’t going to write today, I thought I should to mark the occasion. In some ways it seems like a lot more than 90 days since I last touched a drink – so much has totally changed for me since the 15th July, I wouldn’t know where to begin in describing the changes. Committing to the AA fellowship is about more than just not drinking; for me, anyway, it’s been about changing my perceptions of the world and the people in it. I found that my instincts about people were wrong, in that I didn’t know how to trust them, because I thought they were all out to get me. I’m still working on that issue day by day, but I’d like to think I’ve moved on a little bit in terms of opening up and trusting people. I’ve become used to socialising without alcohol, which is something I thought I’d never do. I’ve changed my lifestyle habits completely; I only go to bars occasionally now, which compared to my thrice-weekly clubbing before is amazing. The biggest and best change is that I am in complete control of my life and my behaviour. I have choices now – whilst many of them are scary and full of responsibility, this is really how I always wanted my life to be. Things are nowhere near perfect yet, but it’s getting there.
This week has been very busy, purely because I’ve had so much to do at Uni. I have projects and deadlines coming out of my ears already, and we’ve only been back two weeks! Therefore I haven’t had time to focus on the novel this week, sadly. The good news is it’s near completion anyway. Only a few more chapters to go and then I’m done with it. I’ll probably be announcing a book launch date by the end of the month (I wish!!)
My current relationship with the AA fellowship is still good; despite the sudden upsurge in responsibility with being back at Uni, I’m still getting to loads of meetings, seeing lots of people and making new friends. On Wednesday I did my first big AA ‘night out’, when a few of us went to see a chat show being recorded. It was exciting, fun, entertaining and very surreal, as I’ve never seen TV being recorded before. For that reason it was probably the best night out I’ve had in years, not least because I got to go home reasonably early and didn’t have to worry about hangovers in the morning!