4 months, 1 day

I’m really, really happy today. There are a couple of reasons for this: I just watched the latest episode of Ugly Betty, my favourite TV series ever, and this week was probably the best episode ever (seriously, that show is good for the soul!); and I had the opportunity to get out of the house earlier, for the first time since Tuesday, when I went to meet a good friend for lunch. I don’t mean it to sound like I’ve been housebound all week through no choice of my own, because I haven’t – it’s just that until today there was no reason for me to go out.

We had lunch in the middle of a beautiful big park in East London, and we chatted for a few hours, and the weather was beautiful. I guess I really appreciate being able to do this now, going for lunch – when I was drinking I never ate lunch with friends. I would almost certainly have been too hungover to go out this morning, if I was still living that life. I’m living a different life now, and it feels so much bigger. And I do remember writing here yesterday that my life currently feels as small as it ever did when I was a teenager. It’s so odd that I can feel that way one day and then feel the complete opposite the next day. In reality, I know my life is infinitely better now than it was seven years ago, precisely because I have friends now who I can spend time with whenever I want to. Seven years ago that just wasn’t the case. Upon thorough examination, the only major problem with my life is the lack of financial independence; that doesn’t bother me today like it did yesterday. I may have no money in the bank but I have love in my life, and for now that’s enough.

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