Well, it has possibly been the most productive day of 2008 so far. I finished the first draft of my novel today! It’s nearly 200 pages long, so a pretty good attempt at a first draft, I would say. As I said before, I think it lacks description, but that can be added at a later date, and I’m not bothered about that at all. I’m so amazed that I’ve managed to write a novel in such a short space of time, five months. Previous novels that didn’t even get finished could take five years to write. So I’ve achieved something amazing today. I have no idea if the novel could be a success or not, but I may as well try and make it one. It fits well into the Harry Potter area of fiction, which I think there’s a definite market for now, thanks to the incredible JK Rowling!
I’ve been to my home group this evening; it was pretty stressful this week as I got there slightly late to find that no one had put the literature out as they normally do. When I was running late before the meeting I just knew that this would happen. When I finally got there the secretary didn’t tell me off for being late, he just asked me to put the literature out as quickly as possible, which I did in two seconds flat. The issue would have been over there and then, but one of the old timers in the meeting shared towards the end about their annoyance to do with certain issues, such as the lack of good literature there. It is true that our stocks of the Big Book etc. are running very low at the moment. Coincidentally, during the break in the meeting I’d sat down to fill out an order form for new stocks. I had been dreading this, thinking I wouldn’t know how to do it, but it was fine. I guess the man who shared about the literature didn’t know I’d done this, as he seemed pretty annoyed.
His remarks threw me a little, although I knew I’d done nothing wrong. It always throws me when I feel criticized. I know he wasn’t attacking me personally, he was making a point about the meeting’s responsibility to ensure the smooth running of all aspects in general. When the meeting was over I saw the secretary having a right go at that man, telling him he shouldn’t have criticized us in his sharing, but should have spoken to one of us afterwards when people were gone, to save embarrassment. It was a strange occurrence, one which I hope won’t happen again.
After the meeting the group made the rare decision to go for coffee in a lovely nearby cafe. Normally people don’t go for coffee after that meeting on Tuesdays, for some reason. Today the secretary wanted to partake in some socialising with us, and invited everyone along. I always jump at the chance to go for coffee with that group because it is my home group, and I genuinely like the people there (even when I’m feeling resentful of them!) Sadly, we were walking around for twenty minutes tonight in the heavy rain before we could find the cafe that they used to go to. That’s the trouble with not having a regular ‘coffee posse’, you forget where these places are!
We stayed in the cafe for half an hour until it closed, chatting about very random things such as politics and our sex lives. There were a few real livewires in the group, including the meeting’s secretary, who could dominate any discussion. I was sat at the end of the table (as usual) and because of the confidence emanating from the others, I was happy to sit back and listen for most of the half hour. The secretary noticed this and tried to include me in the conversation at various points, which was nice, but because of his sense of humour he had to do it in such a way that it looked funny, making jokes about my quietness. I didn’t mind, I’m used to that. I know he’s a nice guy, so I’m not holding it against him. It didn’t help me to become more of a part of the conversation, though – usually when someone makes jokes with me I can’t respond because I don’t feel witty enough. Wit was and probably never will be my strong suit.
Anyway, all this meant I was home after 11pm for the second night in a row. I know! This is very unusual behaviour for me, especially in sobriety. I think I’m a bit scared to go to bed, like the other night, as I have something important happening tomorrow. I will be going into Uni to collect the 100 copies of my research questionnaire, and I guess I will have to start finding people to fill them out at the same time. It turns out I only have a month to do all the research and write the report. All of a sudden 100 people seems like a lot. I’m not as nervous about it as I normally would be. I guess all the scary stuff I’ve been doing recently has helped to calm me a bit. I’m sure it will be fine – people are always looking for research participants in my University. The main thing to remember, I think, is that if I’m not feeling up to it tomorrow, I shouldn’t pressure myself to do it. I have a month, after all.