It has been a great weekend, although I think I have spent too much money…I’ve eaten out in expensive restaurants both days, and I’ve bought tickets for the lesbian & gay film festival which is coming to London soon. I suppose that is the consequence of living a busy life and having lots of things that I want to do. It’s really nice that I have the friends to do these things with now. Yesterday after taking the meeting I was asked out to Soho, where I danced for a few hours in one of the gay bars. I hadn’t been out dancing for a while and thought it was worth the risk going into a pub. I had a nice time, not least because the men who hang out in gay bars in Soho are on the whole very nice to look at!
Around midnight I got a text message from Gareth asking me over for sex because he was feeling ‘horny’. I turned down his offer because I’ve realised that I’d prefer to see him if I knew we were going to do things other than sleep together. I thought I could deal with just seeing him once every few weeks for casual encounters, but I know it’s not I want. I thought long and hard as I lay alone in bed last night whether I should tell him this – I didn’t in the end as I knew it would not make any difference to him. If he wanted something more than casual sex then I’m sure he would have said so by now. It’s disappointing to finally let him go, but I have to do it for me. I can’t hang on waiting for him to turn romantic any more.