Chances

I am officially not a fan of the Easter weekend. In this country at least, the televisual entertainment on offer is annually terrible, the weather is always bad and for four long days most of the shops are closed. Which is why from last Friday until this evening I was in a fairly horrendous mood. Easter Sunday was especially bad – I could hardly get out of bed until the day was nearly over. I would love to have gone away somewhere for the weekend but in the last month I have blindly overspent, something I can’t stop doing, so I was stuck at home. Today I thought I might have one of my internet dates to look forward to, but the nice guy who I had been chatting to seemed unwilling to commit, and I ended up waiting all day to hear back from him about his plans. A silly way for me to spend the day, I know, waiting for someone I’ve never met to confirm whether they want to meet for sex or not. I should have made other plans for myself, but for the first time in weeks I found myself stuck with nothing else to do. In the end I got fed up of waiting and decided to go into town on my own, where I would sit and drink tea in the Soho coffee house where members of the gay fellowship can always be found. There I encountered a great stroke of luck, bumping into three good friends from the fellowship who wanted to go for dinner. They say there are no coincidences in AA, and I’m beginning to believe it. I could have gone to any coffee house, anywhere in London, but something drew me there – probably the knowledge that it is a regular haunt of many of my AA friends. But still, the chances of finding those three particular friends there tonight were slim; the chances of going to dinner with them were even slimmer. I had a lovely night in the end, and the melancholy of the weekend finally seems to have worn off. Things should be getting back to normal tomorrow: everyone goes back to work, shops re-open and TV schedules return to their usual. When I was drinking I never particularly liked public holidays, either. Back then I would head straight for the pub to get drunk on my own. Today’s outcome was much nicer and, dare I say it, much more spiritual.

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